Hey guys. Bolo here. As some of you may know, I’m an Asian guy. Some of our non-Asian readers may be asking, “So what?” Well I’m tell you…being an Asian guy in the dating world can be tough. All around us we see Asian girls with all types of guys…white, black, brown…but we don’t see Asian men with other races. Why is this? I use to blame the media, family upbringings, Asian tradition…But blame is useless and took the power out of my hands. So I began my PUA journey…3 years later and my life has changed. Nowadays, it’s easy for me to go out and get girls.
Then I came across Asian Dating Super Stars….This is the resource I wish I had starting out. It’s a dating product designed especially for Asian men. My man Ryker Koh has brought together the best Asian PUAs together to share their secrets. This is something I wish I had when I first started getting into Pick Up. I caught up with Ryker…
Ryker Koh Interview
1. Tell Us A Little About Yourself And How You Got Into Pickup
Hey my fellow Asian readers, my name is Ryker and I entered pickup and seduction by complete and total accident. I first decided to aggressively improve this area of my life after I witnessed the phenomenal success of one Asian friend of mine.
This Asian dude was just a ordinary, confident yet somewhat quiet guy, but when it came to talking to women, he was a freaking beast with women. This guy was absolutely sick.
He was one of those guys who was born with pin-point precise natural ability to just enter a conversation with just about any girl he met and get her attracted in minutes. And he wasn’t even doing any magic tricks, any NLP patterns, any direct-game. Heck, this was back in 2000 before the community was famous.
All this guy did was talk about plain, simple stuff like hobbies and her life, and his life and fashion and entertainment, just about pretty normal stuff. But man, did these girls stick to him like bees to a honey.
And all the time, I stood there wondering, man, these topics he talks about are plain as peas and even sometimes about as interesting as watching grass grow but how the heck was he getting all these crazy results.
So I cornered the guy and decided to ask him and the thing was this dude had no idea what he was doing right, so everytime I started asking him for advice, he would squint and look really confused and feed me pretty feeble advice like “Just be natural, just be cool” which thinking back now, was precisely what he was doing. But because I was so way off the mark in my own skills, I still wound up getting no success.
And it was until I began aggressively studying and practicing “live” in the field, crashing and burning multiple times before I actually got good. But every since I was young, I have been blessed with a pretty thick skin, so even though I was humiliated and left embarrassed more than a few times, I licked my emotional wounds and soldiered on.
Now, all the time, I had another group of Asian friends who were also studying pickup and these guys really bought just about every course on the market. And these guys were really studious, they flooded their brains with pickup theory and could recite routines backwards in their sleep.
But their dating lives were still disappointing. No love, no girls and they still led pretty sad and lonely lives.
So one day, I asked them – “Yo guys, you have been studying this stuff for close to 2 years now, why do you still go home to a dark, empty house and sleep in your bed alone every night?”
And then, slowly, they began revealing a lot of limiting beliefs they had about being Asian, the whole Asian culture, Asian parents, Asian upbringing and as they did so, I winced and felt their pain because I too am Asian, and I had to overcome these same issues too.
And I thought to myself – hey, it’s time for the Asian man to stop feeling sorry and pathetic for himself. It’s time to get some respect, hence I created Asian Dating Superstars.
2. Why do you think Asian men have such a hard time dating and can’t get white girls? And why do Asian girls always seem to go with white guys?
This is a freaking awesome question.
Now let me break this down.
Why do Asian men have such a hard time dating?
Here’s the 3 biggest reasons.
Firstly, they spend too much time worrying and fearing that girls will mock them and dislike them straight away because they are Asian. No kidding, before they walk up, they feel the girls are already against them.
Now, most guys I know have 2 reactions to this. The first group decideds to resign himself to this sad fate and they slink away into the darkness, too afraid to approach. The second react in anger and outrage, and they approach over-aggressively, like they have a point to prove, and therefore scare the poor girl off.
Both positions assume an immediate “under-dog” mindset – that being Asian is some limitation to overcome.
Now most Asian guys feel this way because the media has been a total asshole and has flooded movies with a ton of negative Asian male stereotypes. Asians in movies are either the loser who is teased and mocked at by guys and girls alike, or the kungfu master who spends the whole show kicking ass and mouthing heavily-accented Chinese.
Both of which are not the most attractive of male characters.
And prolonged watching of this Hollywood garbage means that most Asian guys have slowly assimilated this poisonous identity. Add to that the very lack of positive Asian male stereotypes and you have a growing generation of Asian men who think that being nerdy and geeky is the meaning of being Asian, which is a bunch of horsecrap.
Now the whole Asian upbringing by our parents and the whole Asian culture as an entity is such that we value obedience, harmony and respect, more than being vocal, over-expressive and opinionated.
Most Asian guys reading this know that when you are young and you decide to get too cocky, your boldness is not praised but immediately punished with a slap across the face.
After a while, you learn that the best way to live is to be quiet, be obedient and not say too much. We play it safe, we don’t over-step the boundaries, and we work hard – which is all and good, but it is absolutely destructive when you bring that attitude to meeting women.
The common complaint white girls and even just girls have in general about Asian guys are they are just too quiet, too stoic, too non-expressive. They sit in the corner, have barely nothing to say, just stare at the girl and after a while, the girl is either creeped out or she just plain overlooks you and thinks you are transparent.
Heck, sometimes she might even forget your name, and that you even existed. And that sucks.
Finally, as a culture, Asian guys are born thinking and analyzing a lot more. Just look at the number of computer scientists, engineers and mathematicians we produce as a culture, we are born analytical and we can break things down quickly.
Now, while that’s good for getting through college, that sucks for talking to girls because most Asian guys spend the whole time, plotting their next move like playing Chinese Chess. They try to over-think the interaction, second-guess the girl when they should be paying attention to her.
The end result is the conversation gets awkward, or the girl just feels she is ignored and that you are not paying attention to her and she walks off in an angry puff, leaving you there standing all alone with your drink in your hand.
Now why do Asian girls go with white guys? It’s not a race issue, I am not going to over-generalize here because I know there are Asian girls who are only into white guys but most Asian girls as a whole have no specific preference.
They are just into confident guys who make them feel good. And since Asian guys are not doing as good a job as white guys, Asian girls naturally pick the next best alternative.
As a culture, Asian guys should stop hating on white guys for “stealing” Asian women, neither should we be hating for Asian women for being “traitors” and “sleeping with the enemy”. It’s precisely that kind of thinking that leads to Asian guys struggling and failing with women.
3. What are some things Asian men can do to improve their dating lives?
Great question again. Here’s what I suggest Asian guys do.
Firstly, the only and best way to break a a stereotype in your head is to find a strong role-model, so dominant and so completely different that just watching or listening to him completely and permanently smashes all limiting beliefs you ever had.
When you feel such a role model, so strong, so capable, so full of confidence and ability and you hear his stories, his thoughts and listen to him talk, you will immediately realize that all you once believed was false, and that being Asian is not a handicap, and that Asians can get good with women.
In my product Asian Dating Superstars, I don’t just provide you with one role model – I provide you with 12!
No kidding, 12 Asian guys who have had to rise from deeper ashes than most probably all the Asian readers reading this right now.
Some of them had to endure more shame, teasing, mocking, racist Asian comments than you can ever imagine, but each of them rose above these to become successful.
So when you listen to their stories and their thoughts, you begin to think – hey these guys are Asian, they understand how I feel but they too manage to succeed, maybe I can do this after all!
And you bet they understand how you feel, because they have the same, (if not deeper) emotional scars to prove it – and having walked the path you have walked, they can fix your issues faster than anyone else can.
The next important thing is to understand that reality can definitely be shifted and changed, but ONLY if you know how.
A lot of Asian guys have gone through their entire lives so far with no success with girls, and they automatically assume it’s lights out and game over for them. They assume they are destined to die single, and that no girl will even take a fancy to them.
Look, the 12 Asian dating coaches on my product each started in about the same bad shape as most Asian guys. Rejected left and right, girls avoiding them or toying with them before breaking their hearts, they have all been there.
But look where they are now, the same guys who used to laugh at them are now their students. You can be just as successful if you know how.
What I have done with Asian Dating Superstars is gotten them to reveal their own personal journey and transformation, and the very best of their personal learnings – and along the way, shatter every single one of the common limiting beliefs most Asian guys have that prevents them from succeeding.
Quite a few Asian guys carry a ton of emotional baggage when it comes to meeting and attracting women and you bet the women can sense it. They can smell if you have low-esteem, if you are afraid, if you don’t think much of yourself.
The key is after listening to the Asian Dating Superstar series, you will learn to drop a lot of this emotional baggage you’ve been carrying for so long, and begin to feel better about being an Asian male, regardless of what your past history is.
It’s like that strange moment of total clarity when you realize that yes, I can actually do this and you feel absolute self-confidence.
And one final piece of advice is this. You have to take risks.
Quit being too safe, too obedient, there are times when there is an opportunity you want right in front of you, and you have to squash everything else and go and grab it.
Screw being obedient all the time, sometimes when fear pops up, you gotta kick it in the balls and just charge forward to get what you want. You gotta be bigger than your fear.
Go do it, and don’t think. Who cares what they think? Please yourself first, and if you really want to do something, go ahead and do it, without fear or need of approval.
In Asian Dating Superstars, I get the 12 Asian coaches to reveal how they used highly-effective techniques to re-wire their previously negative and harmful thinking, and enable them to achieve great confidence with women.
With this, you will learn how to get in touch with your natural masculine self and build unstoppable confidence. The fears and insecurities you had previously will melt away and you will find that your hands stop shaking, your teeth stop chattering and you stop shivering or stammering when you talk to girls.
You will be more expressive, more fluid and more natural.
I have not seen any other program out there this specific for the Asian population. I am Asian and I have been in the dumps before, girls rejecting me like I was invisible and transparent so I know exactly how Asian guys feel.
I am going to go one step further and say this – if you want to stop being rejected by women, stop feeling insecure about being Asian, stop leaving parties and social events feeling shitty and disappointed with your lack of confidence, you will find the solution right here.
Do it for yourself. You deserve it this time.
It’s time for Asian men to stop feeling sorry for themselves and to dust themselves up and get the respect we have always deserved, both as an individual and as a culture.
And I feel the journey begins here.
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(For more information on how you too can overcome the negative self-beliefs you have about being Asian, and permanently eliminate almost all the Asian-related insecurities you have to become more confident and attractive to women, visit Asian Dating Superstars now. It could very well be the answer you were always looking for.)
Click here to read our Asian Dating Superstars review.