Vang Vieng is a strange place. It is located in the middle of Laos, yet people come from all around the world to party. The main attraction of Vang Vieng is tubing; people sit on tubes and float down the river, stopping at bars along the way. There are many bars along the river, but only about 4 or 5 that people go to where you’ll find crazy parties. People start at the first bar and end up at the last. Not only are there bars, but there are also ziplines, rope swings, and water slides. Drunk people going on ziplines is always a good idea… This party begins around 1PM and ends at 6 or 7PM, or whenever the sun goes down over the mountains. By 4pm most people are too drunk to stand straight. After tubing,people eat dinner, then get ready to party again at night. The thing with Laos is that due to government regulations, bars must shut down by midnight. Some bars stay open later, but they either have a late license or do so illegally.

My first night out in Vang Vieng I saw this guy handing out free shots. I said that I’d be interested in working; 2 minutes later I found myself talking to the owner of the bar and agreed to start working the next day. In exchange for work I’d get free accommodation, free food, and all the free alcohol I wanted. The bar wasn’t particularly crowded, but why not. I’m always down for a new experience. I showed up at the river the following day at 12:30 PM. My job on the river was to hand out free shots, tie wrist bands around people, and promote for the night time. I got completely shit faced my first day on the job. Later that night I went out to the bar and got completely shit faced again. At 11:30 PM I was done for the day and was able to either stay out partying, or go to sleep.

I hadn’t gotten laid since I left Korea and was going on a 5 week dry spell. I was a bit rusty, to say the least. The good thing about working at the bar forced me to talk to A LOT of people in a short period of time. After a few days of work I started getting more on point and was making out with a new girl every day. My first make out was with this cute South African broad. The following night this Australian girl approached me and started making out with me about 8 seconds later. I was starting to get more on point.

One night at work I noticed these 2 Korean girl walking around the bar taking pictures of themselves. Surprising to see Asian girls taking unnecessary pictures of themselves, huh??? Haha. One of them was hot, the other fat. I approached them and asked if they were from Korea. They were surprised that I knew that they were Korean (I spent 5 weeks in Korea recently and live in the northeast of the USA, so I know damn well what Korean girls look like). I told them I spent 5 weeks in Korea and that I crashed at a friend’s place in Gangnam. They were Gangnam girls, so it was instantly on. I started talking about bolgogi and kimchi after this. They asked if I worked at the bar, and I said what I said, then offered them jobs at the bar. Of course my main motivation in doing this was to fuck the hot one. They started working at the river the next day.

The following day at the river I spent a lot of time talking to the cute one (as well as every other hot girl that came to party on the river). Great thing about working on the river was that it was an easy way to meet every girl who stopped by. When a girl hung out at my bar on the river and I actually had a conversation with her, if she came out to my bar later that night it was easy to continue where we left off. In addition to this, working at a bar is a great way to gets lots of social proof. Working at a somewhat low-key bar is nice because it makes it easy to meet everyone there. Working at a crowded bar is probably great, but it’s less obvious to the girls that you work there so you don’t stand out as much.

Later that night at the bar, it was me, my chick, her friend, and my friend. I suggested that we all go back to my room and smoke a joint. After the joint my friend and his chick went off to his room to fuck, so it was me and my chick in my room. She wasn’t ready to fuck that night. I went for the make out and got D-NIED. She went to her room after this. The following night I found myself in a hammock with her. We went back to my room and I got whiskey dick. I drank a bit too much. The next night we went back to my place again, except this time I railed her out really hard. After that night we fucked every night until she left. If I ever go back to Korea I’ll rail her brains out again.

Every day at the river this German girl would come down. This girl was absolutely gorgeous; cool girl too. I’d basically talk to her the entire time she was at my bar. I’d always tell her to come out to the bar at night, but she thought I was just promoting and not being sincere about it. Finally on her last night she came to the bar. She said to me “would it make you happy if I kissed you?” I said sure, and made out with her. I tried pulling her back to my hostel but she declined, due to a 5 AM bus ticket the next morning. This was also the Korean girls last night in town; luckily she showed up late… this gave me plenty of time to game the German girl. However I probably would have gamed the German girl regardless of if the Korean girl was there or not. Shortly after the German declined my attempt to go back to my hostel the Korean girl showed up. Being honest seemed like the best thing to do in this situation so I said to the German “I’ve been sleeping with this girl for the past week, but I want you tonight. Let’s go back to my place now.” She said no. She was getting ready to go to sleep anyway. We made out again, and she left. Not closing this girl was painful though. If I ever go to Germany I’ll finish what I started…

This was a cool night for me though. In the first part of the night I was making out with a hot German girl, and after she left I hung out with my Korean girl and banged her. It’s as if all of my hard work in the past was paying off right before my eyes…

The day after my Korean chick left town I moved into a new hostel. A hostel called Spicy Laos. I HIGHLY recommend this place if you ever visit Vang Vieng; it is by far the best and easiest place to meet new people. There’s a common area where everyone hangs out, and the beds are separated by nothing more than thin bamboo walls and mosquito nets. Very cool place but a bit cold at night. Plus, it’s literally the cheapest place in town and there’s free wifi, free breakfast, and hot showers. (There’s also a Spicy Laos in Luang Prabong. I highly recommend this hostel for all backpackers visiting Laos).

So pretty much everybody had quit working at the bar except for me and my English friend. He was ready to quit and move to a new bar, but I told him that the rewards would be GREAT if we both stuck it out… we both moved into Spicy Laos at the same time. Seize the day and jump on good opportunities. Shortly after moving into my new hostel I found myself talking to this cute Aussie girl. At the time she was travelling solo, but her friends were arriving the next day. Our conversation was very casual and pretty short. My English friend and I told everyone to come out to our bar later that night. Another benefit of staying at this hostel was that it was a great location for us to promote the bar to everyone.

That night the bar was decent, but I was exhausted. At 11:30 PM, I was ready to go to sleep. One of the Lao guys who owned the bar told me that I should stay until 12. I said why not, and stayed… at about 11:35 PM everybody from the hostel showed up, including the Aussie broad. She came up to me and was ALL over me. We went to the dance floor… I was wearing these thin Thai-style pants, and she was wearing those stretchy black pants (I fucking love those things). She started grinding on me and I told her “be careful… these pants are REALLY thin…” After this she suggested we go to a hammock. Hammocks are a fun place to take girls. She jumped me and started kissing my neck. I had to physically push her off to make her stop. After she stopped, I said to her “I’m going to FUCK THE SHIT out of you later…” She liked this. I found myself with the biggest hickey of my life, on my neck. I said that we should go back to the hostel. She replied with, “we’re going to end up there anyway, let’s wait a bit. This quote really stuck with me; it’s a great mindset to have, one of patience. We went back to the hostel 15 minutes later. No resistance. Only problem is that I got whiskey dick (story of my life). I fucked her for a solid 20 seconds then lost it. Get a good night sleep and don’t get too drunk! After this she was not sexually attracted to me anymore. It wasn’t awkward between us and we’d still talk, but she didn’t want to fuck again.

The night I pulled the Aussie girl was particularly fun for me though. My English friend I worked with was the next bed over from me. He had a new girl with him and I had a new girl with me. At one point he goes “Travolta, is that you?” I said back to him, “Yep. What’s up?” and continued with my business. Good good times.

The day after I sort of banged the Aussie broad I felt like the man. I was overly exhausted from partying so much and was feeling narcissistic. I didn’t want to do anything but sit around all day and not speak to anyone. About 3 days later I quit working at the bar; it was far too draining for me to be around drunk people all day. I could not deal with that shit any longer. Two days after I quit I left Vang Vieng and went to Luang Prabong. The cool thing about working in a bar is that is teaches you to be unreactive to all of the external stimuli going on around you. Everybody would be getting drunk and going crazy, but I’d be standing there completely chilled out. I was used to the environment from working there, so it had absolutely no affect. Girls would approach me every night because there was something different about me and everyone else in the bar. I miss working at a bar… I hope to do it again someday somewhere else.

My 2 weeks spent in Vang Vieng was the time of my life, hands down. I made out with some really hot girls, banged 2 different girls, and also did some amazing things. I went rock climbing and went on this intense and dangerous trek through the mountains. Traveling Southeast Asia made me discover that I love hiking through the mountains. It has actually inspired my near-future plans to go to Nepal. In Nepal I am planning on taking a 2 week trek to the base camp of Nepal. The majority of people go to Vang Vieng for the sole purpose of partying. The partying is great, but the best thing about the place has got to be the scenery. The town is surrounded by tall, steep limestone mountains. Every day I was there I’d stare at the mountains and they never failed to amaze me.

Vang Vieng was amazing, but I have no plans on returning for AT LEAST another few years. Go there if you ever get the chance. I could write another few pages about the rest of my experience in Laos, but I don’t want to get carried away.

See more of them here and you can find bootcamp information if you are in Asia and are interested here