Getting the girl is different from keeping the girl
January 26, 2010 by Latinstylez
Filed under Articles
I have gotten so much into pickup the last few months I haven’t even bothered updating you on my status. Well, the last month and a half have been awesome. I have closed a high number of girls and the last couple have been of higher quality. Here’s what is happening, I am losing these girls when I shouldn’t have.
Now, I have come to the realization that I have just gotten so much into pickup that I have lost sight of the fact of enjoying myself and having more fun with these girls. I have been running my game in a sequential model and it has made me seem more robotic than fun. I’m also going for closes too quickly and my average time has been 4-5 hours. Slow down, Latin! Slow down, Latin! What happened to the Latin that had girls feel anticipation? It has turned into a Latin more focused on getting the close than enjoying the actual relationship.
I want to have girls stick around in my life and I don’t want them to just leave. The last girl especially hit me hard, because she was what I was looking for: she was sexy, smart, open minded, and had an awesome vibe. Then I got the dreaded text message after a few days of closing her saying “I had fun with you Latin, but we don’t really have a connection.” This hurt and now I’m going to do something to fix this from happening again. What will I do? I have taken advice from some of the greats who are close personal friends and have listened to myself inside. I am looking at the positive things I have: I’m healthy, I have a great social circle, I have great friends, and my game is really strong. It’s strong in the sense of I can close quality women and know what to do, but it’s not strong in the fact of keeping them around.
We all go through different phases and now I am going through mine. I remember reading David D’s ebook when I first started on my road in pickup. Back then, I had a much more fun vibe and kept more girls around than I am now. I’ll be re-reading his ebook again. After talking to Falcon, I realized I need to go back to having fun and not looking at these from an entirely sequential model. Sure, I will continue running some of the same techniques, but I am going to be gearing my game more to keeping these quality women in my life and not having them leave after I close them. The pain is there and I have to fix this. Keep updated with me as I go on the mission of finding the perfect regulars for me.
The criteria is simple: higher quality at least an 8. I need to be able to show her off to my friends and be happy she’s around. Stay tuned!
Man I totally feel you on this. I’ve been having a similar problem. It’s like the community has trained us to “close close close” ….. It’s bullshit.
What happened to sleeping with someone cuz they drive you crazy and you really like them… where the passion is mutual and you rip each other’s clothes off?
Shit – hitting on girls straight away is kinda low value.
Aren’t you getting laid already? Why are you so horny? You don’t even know this girl, why do you want to fuck her?
A guy who’s already dating a couple of sexy, awesome girls isn’t just going to try and bang a girl straight away. He’s qualify and screen the SHIT out of her to make sure she’s worthy. Just like girls are doing to us.
This seems really obvious, and yet the entire community is based around trying to fuck girls as quickly as possible. I think this is kind of poisoned me. It’s not normal. The longer I’m in this community, the more I want to actually want to be into someone to fuck them. Sure if a girl’s really fucking hot and you just wanna bone her one time, fair enough. But is just seems like the “community” message is FUCK GIRLS, FUCK GIRLS NOW!! FUCK GIRLS BEFORE THEY KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING!!
It’s fucking bullshit.
I’ve been talking with my friend Marcus about this too and we’ve come up with some ideas … We’re thinking that they key is to have them as friends first – but just keep the sexual tension in there, you know? Have them know that you’re a sexual threat.
1) Not hit on girls too soon….. and possibly
2) Put girls in the friend zone – then escalate anyways. Throw in “I like you, but as a friend. Is that O.K?” … this drives them nuts. then keep escalating…. so they know you wanna hook up but you’re just “Friends”
Will be hard from me – I’m all about direct game! sigh…
I’ve love to hear the changes you make in your game that leads you to keeping more quality girls around. And blog more often dude!!
Peace and love from the U.K…
Sasha
Thanks for the reply Sasha. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only person suffering from lack of keeping “quality women” in their life. I think you make some great ideas especially the one about the friend zone and keeping the sexual tension going. I am a huge fan of social circle game and do this with girls and will make a more conscious effort to keep the tension running high with them.
The community is to centered on closing and I totally agree with you. It’s not geared towards maintaining healthy relationships with beautiful women. That’s a whole different area we need to explore. I’m up for the idea of sharing some ideas sometime. I will be posting my perfect regular statement later today.
Email me at latinstylez@gmail.com
PS- I’ll try to blog more often
The general mindset of the community is great for newbies. “You mean looks don’t matter? Women enjoy sex more then men? CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSEEE!”
These mindsets are helpful when you’re just starting out. Don’t get me wrong, they certainly helped me.
But now that I’m a little bit better, a lot of those old mindsets just don’t match up to reality.
Looks are the first thing she sees. She judges in an instant if she is attracted to your look or not. Just look at internet dating for all the proof you need. First thing people look at are the pictures THEN read the profile.
Sure. Even if you don’t have a great look, you can convince her to sleep with you. I have. But then some other guy comes along with the look she desires and her ass is gone.
Women enjoy sex more then men. Women and sex is a fucked up topic. Why? Cuz women have been killed for who they’ve had sex with and how they’ve had sex. Our society puts a lot of fucked up messages about sex in women’s mind. That said, it is true that women have a sex organ dedicated solely to sex.
However, women don’t have testosterone coursing through their veins like men. Estrogen can’t even measure up. If women wanted sex as much as men then they’d be tearing their clothes off instead of spending so much money on them.
As a wise PUA once said “1. Humans are terrible at controlling their strong urges and addictions. 2. Women are, by and large, able to control their sex drives. 3. The urge for women must not be horribly strong.”
Close! Yes, fucking girls defines a PUA. But it’s not the best way to keep a girl who you actually like. Also, sex means shit to girls.